Sunday, 19 July 2015

WIDOWHOOD AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN AFRICAN



WIDOWHOOD AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN AFRICAN
By
ELAIKPI A. ABADA
KUW/U14/MCM/2015
Department of Mass Communication
Peace presupposes harmonious existence between the sexes. This is negated in the experiences of women especially widows in the African milieu due to the over-bearing influence of patriarchy, jealousy, greed, hatred and other forms of marginalization meted out on widows. Widowhood has thus generated conflicts in most African families and societies. This is largely due to the erroneous traditional African belief that no one dies a natural death. If a man pre-deceases his spouse, it is the woman that is held responsible, irrespective of the number of children he leaves behind for her to raise. It is against this back-drop that Florence Orabueze argues that “widowhood is a word that every woman dreads to mention. In Africa, it usually brings to a peak all the humiliation, subordination, degradation and oppression which an African woman goes through in her lifetime. From the time of her husband’s death to the time of her own death, his family and the society blame her for the passing away of the much-needed male. She is indirectly asked why she should survive the man” (115). Corroborating Orabueze, Rose Acholonu submits that widows in addition are “subjected to a whole gamut of obnoxious widowhood rites aimed at making her die within the mourning period of about one year. Most brothers-in-law are ever ready to disinherit her and in many cases, may drive her out of her marital home” (97).
Some widows who refuse to go through widowhood rites are severely punished. Helen Labeodan writes about one of these examples. The widow in question is kidnapped, locked up, badly fed and during her incarceration, she is raped by her brother-in-law. She is later thrown into the river as prescribed by the goddess to prove her innocence in her spouse’s death, luckily, she survives these ordeals and is exonerated. Others have been made to drink the bath water used for bathing their spouse’s corpse, while some have been made to swear to their innocence in ancestral shrines. Yet other widows have been made to spend the night/nights with the corpse of their late husband, sitting on bare floor in a corner of the room with shaved hair. The only clothing they are allowed to wear are rags. This self-effacing postures completely dehumanizes women and calls to question the attitude of society towards women who are generally viewed as the “weaker” sex.
Widows in Africa have told bizarre stories of their experiences in the hands of their in-laws, friends and society at large. These stories often border on victimization and betrayal. The experiences are traumatic and damaging to the feminine psyche. They are also gross examples of violation of women’s fundamental human rights and indictment on the society which view women as “other”. The African tabloids are awash with instances of violence and marginalization against women and widows in particular. A case in point is that of Virginia Akobundu recorded in Sunday Punch of March 14, 2010 in Nigeria, who suffers physical and psychological victimization from her brother-in-law, due to her refusal to relocate to her home village after her husband’s demise. Earlier she had been forced to live with her four children in their one-room tenement where her husband was buried in the name of tradition and because the latter did not own a house. This oddity raises concern especially in patriarchal Africa where several women-young, middle age and old are fast becoming widows. Dayo Olukemi-Kusa is of the contention that “both sexes need to cooperate in peace and conflict resolution. This is because without peace, the attainment of sustainable human development would come to naught” (206).

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