WIDOWHOOD AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN AFRICAN
By
ELAIKPI A. ABADA
KUW/U14/MCM/2015
Department of Mass
Communication
Peace presupposes harmonious
existence between the sexes. This is negated in the experiences of women
especially widows in the African milieu due to the over-bearing influence of
patriarchy, jealousy, greed, hatred and other forms of marginalization meted
out on widows. Widowhood has thus generated conflicts in most African families
and societies. This is largely due to the erroneous traditional African belief
that no one dies a natural death. If a man pre-deceases his spouse, it is the
woman that is held responsible, irrespective of the number of children he
leaves behind for her to raise. It is against this back-drop that Florence
Orabueze argues that “widowhood is a word that every woman dreads to mention.
In Africa, it usually brings to a peak all the humiliation, subordination,
degradation and oppression which an African woman goes through in her lifetime.
From the time of her husband’s death to the time of her own death, his family
and the society blame her for the passing away of the much-needed male. She is
indirectly asked why she should survive the man” (115). Corroborating Orabueze,
Rose Acholonu submits that widows in addition are “subjected to a whole gamut
of obnoxious widowhood rites aimed at making her die within the mourning period
of about one year. Most brothers-in-law are ever ready to disinherit her and in
many cases, may drive her out of her marital home” (97).
Some widows who refuse to go
through widowhood rites are severely punished. Helen Labeodan writes about one
of these examples. The widow in question is kidnapped, locked up, badly fed and
during her incarceration, she is raped by her brother-in-law. She is later thrown
into the river as prescribed by the goddess to prove her innocence in her
spouse’s death, luckily, she survives these ordeals and is exonerated. Others
have been made to drink the bath water used for bathing their spouse’s corpse,
while some have been made to swear to their innocence in ancestral shrines. Yet
other widows have been made to spend the night/nights with the corpse of their
late husband, sitting on bare floor in a corner of the room with shaved hair.
The only clothing they are allowed to wear are rags. This self-effacing
postures completely dehumanizes women and calls to question the attitude of
society towards women who are generally viewed as the “weaker” sex.
Widows in Africa have told
bizarre stories of their experiences in the hands of their in-laws, friends and
society at large. These stories often border on victimization and betrayal. The
experiences are traumatic and damaging to the feminine psyche. They are also
gross examples of violation of women’s fundamental human rights and indictment
on the society which view women as “other”. The African tabloids are awash with
instances of violence and marginalization against women and widows in
particular. A case in point is that of Virginia Akobundu recorded in Sunday
Punch of March 14, 2010 in Nigeria, who suffers physical and psychological
victimization from her brother-in-law, due to her refusal to relocate to her
home village after her husband’s demise. Earlier she had been forced to live
with her four children in their one-room tenement where her husband was buried
in the name of tradition and because the latter did not own a house. This
oddity raises concern especially in patriarchal Africa where several
women-young, middle age and old are fast becoming widows. Dayo Olukemi-Kusa is
of the contention that “both sexes need to cooperate in peace and conflict
resolution. This is because without peace, the attainment of sustainable human
development would come to naught” (206).
No comments:
Post a Comment